Meaty Sports
by Exotos135
Summary: Lynn decides to literally play with her food by using meat to create a sport.


At the Loud house' kitchen, Lynn Loud was eating a sandwich filled with meatballs when she was approached by Lisa, who gave her a look of annoyed disapproval.

"Eating yet another meatball sandwich, Lynn?" the little genius asked, though the jock mostly ignored her. "I mean, it greatly helps with my poop studies, but what's up with you and your love of meat in general?!"

"Lisa, you wouldn't understand: Meat and I have a special connection, and that's been the case ever since I was born!" Lynn replied in a melodramatic tone, before turning back to normal. "Besides, you have your weird bathroom studies, and nobody minds."

"Actually, everybody minds, I just ignore them."

"And that's the same thing I do."

The genius pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Whatever, just keep your obssession in check. Seriously, at this rate, you'll start playing with the meat too."

And with that said, the little genius left, unaware that she just gave Lynn an idea. The jock soon devoured her sandwich, then grabbed the remaining meat and giggled as she prepared something...

 _A couple minutes later..._

There was a generic football match being played in a large stadium, though things looked a tad more... Meaty, than usual. This soon turned out to be because Lynn was playing a game of make-believe miniature football made entirely with mashed meat.

"And the Loud Sausages are facing off against the Dead Meats, a team that saw a rocky start before suddenly rising atop the ranks!" Lynn exclaimed while holding a spoon as if it was a microphone. "Who will be the ultimate winner of the Meat Olympics 2017?! Tune in-"

"What are you doing?"

The athlete stopped and turned around, where she saw Lisa giving her a confused look. "Oh, hi Lisa!" the jock greeted cheerfully. "I just decided to make a miniature sports replica using meat! I got the inspiration fron when you said I would start playing with the meat too, and boom, here it is!"

"Lynn, when I said that, I didn't expect you to take it literally!" the little scientist stated, narrowing her eyes. "I mean, maybe Lori and Leni would've taken it literally, but not you!"

"Hey, you should've seen it coming! After all, I love to make everything into a sport competition!" Lynn answered, flashing a smile and giving her younger sister a wink. However, Lisa was not amused. "Although, if you'd be willing to play a short game with me, I might consider cleaning up this mess."

"You know what? I think I'm going to do Lola's job for once and tell our parental units! You need to pay for wasting perfectly edible meat products!" the scientist stated, stomping the ground before walking to the door. "Besides, I don't have time to do something so childish."

"Yeah, I bet you'd rather be beaten by Lincoln at chess again," Lynn scoffed.

The instant she heard that, Lisa stopped right on her tracks and stomped her way back to the jock, who was giving her a smug look. "I only let him win every time so his ego doesn't drop to the floor!" the scientist hissed, pointing at Lynn.

"Lisa, you should know by now that "Ego" and "Lincoln" don't go in the same sentence together," Lynn replied, poking Lisa's nose. "Maybe "casanova" or "harem" can go in the same sentence as his name, but never "ego," although if your name was included in the sentence-"

"That's it! If you're going to use my sensitive pride against me, then I might as well give this meaty miniature ball game thing a shot just to get you to shut up!" Lisa growled as she got on the opposite of the table. "If I win, you stop playing with the food, literally in this case, and then buy new meat to replace the one you wasted to make this!"

"Fine, but if I win, you must dress like an absolute idiot in front of Lincoln and declare that you're his queen of chess, to go with his kind of chess title!" Lynn retorted.

"H-He isn't known as the chess king!"

"Well, he'll be known like that if I win as well."

Lisa clenched her teeth and got ready to play against Lynn, who put on a smug smile as she prepared her game...

 _A couple hours later..._

Lincoln was walking to the second floor when he suddenly came across with Lynn, holding a camera and using it to film Lisa, dressed in chess-themed attire, do a weird dance. "Uh, girls," Lincoln blurted, catching the duo's attention. "What's going on?"

"Oh my, it looks like the one and only king of chess has come to meet us! What an unexpected visit!" Lynn remarked before giving Lisa a smug, almost teasing, look. "Lisa, go meet up with your king. Make him feel... Comfortable and appreciated."

The little genius walked to Lincoln, kicking Lynn's knee in the process, then bowed down when she was in front of him. Needless to say, the boy didn't exactly find this pleasing.

"Greetings, my King of Chess, it is I, your faithful... Queen of Chess," Lisa begrudgingly said, flashing a glare at Lynn before continuing. "Your inferior partner in nearly every way. I hope my inferiority doesn't displease you today, and if it does, please tell me, oh my lord, what can I do to appease you."

And as Lynn laughed out loud, Lincoln shot a glare at her and asked, "Okay, Lynn, what did you do this time?"

"I challenged her to a game of sports I made with meat and she lost!" the jock answered, slapping her knee... And flinching when she realized she slapped the one Lisa kicked.

"You mean the meat that mom and dad were going to use to bake their yearly Loud Meat Cake?" the boy inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Once she heard that, Lynn's laughter and enjoyment ceased to exist as she realized what this meant. So she bolted to her room, jumped out the window and ran away as Rita yelled:

"Who took the meat!?"


End file.
